


Call Me Cordelia

by IAmAwesomeMe



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Matthew dies, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13999809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAwesomeMe/pseuds/IAmAwesomeMe
Summary: Anne has a warrior name. A name she calls on when she needs to do something she thinks is impossible. She tells Jerry about it and he uses it three times as they cycle through the major events in Anne's life.





	Call Me Cordelia

Anne had calmed down sufficiently to be able to talk, but Marilla chose not to pry at this moment which Anne was thankful for. She could say thank you for the glass of water but she was sure she would break down crying again if asked about the day’s event. Gilbert, the slate, and Mr. Phillip’s choice for crude and unusual punishment had caused her to decide never again to attend school and while she was able to firmly tell Marilla that she couldn’t explain why yet. Marilla understood and kept her distance. She didn’t say anything as Anne walked out of the house. 

Anne needed some fresh air as she walked the perimeter of the farm. Twice. She needed a lot of air because she had a lot to think about. What was she going to do? Would she be sent back to the asylum for refusing to attend school? If she were given the choice, school or asylum, which would she choose? Asylum, she chose. She could never brave the school again. She only hoped that when the moment came she would be able to make the decision. She decided that the open air was good but a bit too cold. She went over to the barn. In the loft, she heard Jerry. She went up to greet him.

“Anne!” he was shocked. “I thought you had gone back to school.”

“No,” Anne said, firmly walking over to and subsequently collapsing on a pile of hay. “I am never going back to school.”

“That’s a horrible idea, Anne-” Jerry started but was cut off.

“Call me Cordelia,” Anne begged, sitting up.

“What is that?” Jerry laughed. He was somewhat used to Anne’s tangents about fantasy people.

“Cordelia is the name I give myself when I need confidence,” Anne responded solemnly. “She is everything I am not. She is strong, confident, powerful, unlike me. So when I am faced with a challenge that I alone cannot conquer I channel her.”

Jerry had never seen Anne this way. She was completely serious as tears rolled down her face remembering all the previous times she called on her inner Cordelia. “Alright… Cordelia.” 

Anne’s spirit lifted as she heard the name. “Thank you,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. 

“Can you… Can you tell me what happened?” Jerry was curious what lead someone he already thought of as strong, confident and powerful to call on her inner warrior.

“Well, Anne… I mean I. I was in class,” Anne started hesitantly. She didn’t like the idea of speaking in first person. She wan’t ready to be Anne yet and needed a few more moments as her alter ego.

“You can say Anne if you want, Cordelia,” Jerry said.

“Anne was in class. She was already hated by her fellow classmates save her best friend named Diana. The new boy, or I suppose newly arrived old boy, Gilbert Blythe was accosting her to no end. He threw chalk at her, walked over to her in the middle of class in front of everyone and tried to give her an apple. The worst offence was when he pulled her hair and called her carrots. She… She didn’t know what to do but responded through instinct.” Anne got chocked up and Jerry went over to her. He sat beside her and put an arm around her. “She… Anne… Anne hit the boy with her slate. Then, when the teacher tried to punish and humiliate her she walked out and didn’t look back.” She finished her confession and looked down, ashamed of what she did. 

Jerry wanted so much to comfort her but didn’t know what to say. They waited there in silence and Jerry held her tightly. “Well then, it’s fortunate that Anne has the strong Lady Cordelia there to help her.”

Anne smiled at that and leaned into Jerry’s embrace. He held her like he would hold any of his sisters and when she was well again he escorted her to the house. He squeezed her hand as she left to go confront Marilla and tell her the whole story. 

-

Anne had cried herself to sleep the previous night. And the night before that. She stayed in her room crying most of the day as well. Compare that to Marilla who hadn’t slept for two days. She has been cooking, baking, keeping herself busy so she didn’t have to think about what this means. Right now Marilla was going through all the stuff in Matthew’s room. The funeral was today and there was lots to do. She was going through his clothes right now, deciding what to keep and what to give away. Jerry could use this jacket, Marilla decided. Gilbert could take this cap. 

Jerry, for his part, was also doing a lot of work. Not because he had to to keep from breaking down, but because there was so much work to do. Luckily, Gilbert came over every day to help out. Still, Jerry had a sneaking suspicion that he was only there to make sure Anne was ok. She wasn’t. She lost her father and was in the depths of despair, going further then she had never gone before. 

Gilbert was usually the one to carry up Anne’s food to her but today he was at the church with Marilla seeing stuff up so it was Jerry’s job to feed her and bring her to the funeral that afternoon. He brought up  some soup and tea for her. He was supposed to leave it outside the door and knock but noticed that the morning’s eggs and now cold tea were still there. He set down the tray and knocked. 

“Anne?” he called within and was meet only with whimpered sobs. “Anne, the funeral’s today. You need to eat. You need to be strong.” 

From inside there was more noise, crying this time. Jerry knew he shouldn’t but he turned the doorknob and walked inside. He found Anne, lying on her bed. Her eyes were red from crying, her hair was crazy, and her nightgown looked like she hasn’t changed it since she found Matthew dead in his bed two nights ago. She was the one who only wanted to give him a kiss goodnight but instead ended up screaming so loud it woke Marilla who was already asleep. 

“Anne you need to eat,” Jerry told her.

“How can I?” Anne cried.

“Fine,” Jerry said, kind of annoyed at Anne. “Cordelia, you need to eat.”

Anne softened at that. She hadn’t heard anyone call her Cordelia since that day she smacked Gilbert with a slate. She never told anyone other than Jerry about her secret special name and Jerry knew the difference between normal Anne’s hyperbole about the depths of despair and the actual thing. Luckily, she didn’t need to use her special name until now. Jerry went out and brought in the tray of soup. He fed it to her, one spoonful after another. Eventually, Anne composed herself enough to start feeding herself. Jerry knew she should get into the funeral clothes, but wanted her to finish eating before that. Instead, he grabbed a brush and started combing through her hair. Halfway though, she started crying again.

“You have beautiful hair, Cordelia,” Jerry said, giving Anne strength. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and continued eating. Jerry made a mental note to pack extra handkerchiefs. He was done brushing her hair but continued anyway. The constant, steady motion was soothing Anne. Soon, she finished her soup. Jerry put down the brush and went to fetch Anne’s black dress. She cried again at the sight of it, collapsing on the floor. Jerry dropped the dress and rushed to her. He held her, whispering “You have to be strong, Cordelia. I know it seems impossible, I know it seems like you will never again find happiness or laughter but you will because you will never forget the happiness and laughter they brought into your life.” Jerry recalled the words his older sister told him when they just lost their dad. “Remember that time Matthew brought home the dress with puffed sleeves? Remember how happy he made you?”

“He always had the kindest spirit,” Anne agreed, smiling at the memory.

“And now that spirit can live on in you,” Jerry promised.

Anne nodded and slowly got into her dress. Jerry helped and watched as she stood in front of the mirror doing up her braids. 

“Here,” Jerry offered her a length of black lace. “Your blue one was a bit too festive, so Gilbert bought you this one.”

Anne took it, carefully examining it before attaching it to her hair. She went to whip her nose on her sleeve, but Jerry quickly intervened and offered up the handkerchief Anne was meant to bring. She looked at herself in the mirror, carefully studying her features before announcing “I’m ready.”

They walked down to the church together. Marilla was in the front pew, where that family usually sits at funerals. Anne knew she had to sit down there too. Jerry went to sit with his family, but Anne griped his hand tightly and wouldn’t let him. Instead, she lead him down to sit next to her and Marilla in the front pew. During the service, whenever Anne started to cry Jerry would whisper to her words of encouragement that evolved into him simply whispering “Cordelia, Cordelia, Cordelia,” over and over, reminding Anne how strong she can be.

-

Jerry sighed as he walked over to the church. He knew why he was invited, over the years he and Anne had grown close enough to be siblings. He didn’t technically work the farm anymore but he still ended up seeing Anne at least once a day. She was the local school teacher, having been personally chosen by Miss Stacey after she was forced into retirement. Jerry worked in town at the butcher shop. 

When he entered the church, he smiled. The whole town had gathered. It made sense. The entire town was heavily invested. He wandered over to Mrs. Allen and they made polite conversation.

“Jerry,” someone tapped on his shoulder. He turned around to find Diana there with a concerned look on her face. “The, um, the bride wants to see you.”

“Is everything alright?” Mrs. Allen asked.

“It is,” Diana lied, “she just wanted to see Jerry as soon as he arrived.”

Jerry followed Diana through the web of back rooms to the one label “Bride.” Beside it, someone scribbled “ ’s Flowery Bower.” Jerry smiled, and opened the door to find a very nervous Anne pacing back and forth in a white dress. Ruby was sitting on one side of the room in dresses matching Diana’s. Tillie was on the other side of the room, also in matching dress. They were looking at Anne nervously, unsure what to do. Diana closed the door behind them.

“Jerry!” she called out, then attacked him in a gigantic hug. “Jerry, I am everlastingly joyous to see you.” She pulled back, so she could look him directly in the eyes. “Jerry, I am horribly afraid. I absolutely cannot get married today.”

Jerry laughed at that. He knew that this was a serious matter, but it was also absurd. “Anne! It’s Gilbert! You two have been in love with each other forever! What do you mean you are not marrying him?”

“I mean, it’s Gilbert,” Anne responded, going back to her nervous pacing. “He’s tall, handsome, and studying to be a _doctor_. He’s every girl’s dream. And look at me,” she turned to face the mirror in a corner. “I have horrible red hair and freckles that did _not_ fade with age. I am not the stuff brides are made out of. I always suspected, but putting on dress confirmed my every suspicion. This is all a horrible mistake.” She bolted to the door but Diana stopped her. She went to open the window and escape that way but Jerry pulled her back inside and put her into a chair.

“Anne, this is crazy,” he told her. “Gilbert loves you. You love him. more importantly, if you back out now that means I lost a very important bet against Charlie Sloan.” Anne laughed at Jerry’s joke, lightening the mood. “You are going to get married today,” Jerry assured her.

“What if he wakes up in a year or ten or twenty and realizes he made a huge mistake with me?” Anne asked quietly, under her breath.

“I can’t tell the future, but I know that isn’t going to happen,” Jerry said.

“But what if it does?”

“It won’t.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Jerry insisted. “Gilbert has loved you since the second he laid eyes on you. Remember the first day? He tried to give you the apple and in exchange you hit him with a slate?” Anne laughed at that, and it gave Jerry and idea. He pulled her close in a hug and whispered in her ear: “You can do it, Cordelia.” When he pulled back, Anne nodded, agreeing that the idea of a runaway bride at this wedding was a foolish one indeed. They smiled at each other. They way argue and bicker most of the time but they cared for each other when it mattered.

“Jerry, thank you,” Anne said. 

“Glad I could help make sure this wedding actually happens,” Jerry responded.

“That actually isn’t why I wanted to see you,” Anne confessed, to Jerry’s surprise. “Matthew… Matthew can’t walk me down the aisle. Marilla was going to, but it was too much of a modern idea for her. I was going to ask you if you could?”

Jerry was surprised. “But… I’m not-”

“You are the closest thing I have at the moment,” Anne confessed. “Please?”

Jerry paused for a moment, then smiled. “Of course.” 

Anne smiled back. Later, Anne and Jerry walked down the aisle in lock step. Gilbert stood at the end, handsome as ever in a gorgeous suit. When Anne and Jerry got to the end, he gave her a small kiss on the check and another “Cordelia.” She smiled, but Jerry was pretty sure it had nothing to do with him and more to do with the fact that she’s marrying Gilbert. He took his seat beside Marilla and watched the two young lovers become the two married lovers.

-

Jerry raced through the streets, a few steps behind Gilbert. He had only come in for a few days two weeks before she was supposedly due but apparently Anne likes to be early. 

They arrived at the hospital and Gilbert raced to the front desk.

“Where is she?” he demanded. “Where is my wife?”

“What is she here for?” The nurse asked.

“She’s having a baby. My baby. Where is she?”

“The maternity ward is over there,” the nurse pointed in a direction and Gilbert and Jerry were running again. The knew they arrived when the wall colour changed from white to light pink. They asked another nurse who showed them a specific room.  

They heard Anne’s screams and tried to enter but the doctor blocked them from entering. 

“Sirs, you’re not allowed in here,” he explained. 

“That’s my wife and child. Let me in now.” Gilbert had a fire in his eyes.

“Sir, please, the horrors of the female body are not for the faint of heart,” the doctor insisted.

“Nice try, I’m a surgeon,” Gilbert told him. “Specifically, I’m a surgeon at the best hospital in the city, not this second rate excuse which would be my fourth choice in a city with three hospitals. I have personally operated on the mayor and he owes me a favour so if you don’t let me in right now I will have your stethoscope.”

The poor doctor was not prepared for that and was speechless as Gilbert elbowed his way into the room. He regained his composure in time to stop Jerry, though.

“Sir, unless you regularly deal with blood and gust I do not recommended going in there and you do not look like a surgeon.”

“You’re right, I’m a butcher,” Jerry said and elbowed his way into the room beside Gilbert.

Frazzled, the doctor returned to the room. They heard Anne scream in pain and Gilbert rushed to her side. He held her hand and kissed.

“I’m here,” Gilbert assured her.

“Gilbert!” she was panting as her forehead was drenched in sweat. “Jerry!” She said as he rushed to her other side. “Wait, what are you doing here?”

“What exactly is your relationship with Mrs. Blythe?” The doctor asked, confused.

“I’m her brother,” he lied. Well, it was technically a lie and anyone looking at them would see it immediately but at this point they were so close it wasn’t that much of a exaggeration.

“Now try and remain calm, Mrs. Blythe,” the doctor continued as Anne screamed in pain. “Also, remember not to push yet.”

“I’m… I’m not sure if I can do this,” Anne confessed.

“Of course you can,” Gilbert assured her, squeezing her hand.

“You can do anything… Cordelia,” Jerry added. Gilbert looked kinda confused but When he saw how much strength it gave Anne, he started doing it too. Eventually, everyone in the room started calling Anne Cordelia, following Jerry’s lead. They stayed in that room an hour or two before the doctor told them it was finally time to push. They were all overjoyed, but soon realised it was only the end of the beginning not the beginning of the end. Still, Gilbert and Jerry stayed with her the entire time. Gilbert assisted with some medical stuff, occasionally acting as a second doctor and always carefully monitoring Anne’s vitals. Jerry had the job of moping Anne’s forehead and cooling her off with a cold cloth. Together, they assisted Anne anyway they could as she tries to bring a life into the world and knew that neither of them would ever be able to do anything close to as amazing as this. 

Late into that night, Anne and Gilbert’s first child was born. Cordelia Geraldine Blythe. She lived a long life as a brave, strong, powerful women. Her life wasn’t perfect but whenever it got tough she used a trick her mom taught her and called herself a name that made her the person she wanted to be.

“Anne,” she would whisper to herself.


End file.
